Over the last couple of days, I was really struggling with depression. Little things were huge mountains that I couldn't overcome, old nightmares were tormenting me at night, and I've been a moody hag.
It turns out I just needed a good cry. I haven't been able to release my grief since Thanksgiving Day and it was past time. I watched Raise Your Voice with Hilary Duff - it's my sister and I's "cry movie" because of the parallels between the movie and our lives. I feel a lot better now and better able to deal with things.
Which is a damn good thing because...
... My sister came home today from the doctor. She had gone in to talk about how to keep away from drugs and basically to seek assistance. She also had a pregnancy test done and SURPRISE! She is 10 1/2 weeks pregnant.
She told my mom first by handing her the prescription for prenatal vitamins and I guess my mom said, "HOLY SHIT!"
I came downstairs to find out what was going on and she handed me the prescription as well. I said, "HOLY SHIT" and started laughing because, well, it's a bit of a shock.
My dad is worse of a morning person than I am, especially when he gets woken up. He had just fallen asleep about five minutes before my mom went in and got him. He came out asking what in the hell was going on and Ashley blurted out, "dad, I'm pregnant." Cue the long pause...
It was obvious he was less than thrilled because he firmly believes in the institution of marriage and the creating of children within that institution. But it was also just as obvious that he is a loving, supportive, father and he will be there for her in every way. They had a long talk about the changes that were going to come about in her life and how she was going to have to handle them. He asked her about how she was feeling and what she was thinking. He made it clear that he loves her very much and he said he was sorry if he wasn't saying the right things, but that he'd be happy and more understanding tomorrow after he'd caught up on his sleep.
I can't really blame him for being stern with her during parts of the conversation. That's quite the bomb to drop in a father's lap. But he's handling it well and I think he'll get even better as time goes by, although he did warn her that there was going to be changes everywhere - including within him and mom. And to prepare herself for a bootcamp into adulthood over the next few months. His goal is to help get her ready for parenthood and adulthood - she's barely gotten her feet wet in the latter. He also told her that her days of being foot loose and fancy free were over - she has more than just herself to think about now. He softened that by telling her about what in an incredible joy it is to raise a child and how much fun it can be if she lets it.
Overall, I'd say it went pretty well.
I'm excited about being an aunty! My cousin, Sarah, did her usual evil comments and tried to suck the joy out of things. She called my cell phone to ask me about everything. After I'd told her, she started laughing and I asked her what was so funny. She says, "oooh, just that after all those years of mothering all of us, you're going to be the last one of us to have kids." I very politely told her that it was BECAUSE of all those years that I've made the smart choice to wait. And then I ever so sweetly told her that if she made another comment like that, I would rip her arms off her body and beat her in the head with them the next time I seen her. Bitch.
But whatever... I'm going to be an aunt! My sister just had both a blessing and a huge responsibility dumped in her lap. Based on what I know and what I seen tonight, this is going to change her life for the good. There are going to be some hard bumps along the way - there is nothing easy about being a single mother. However, she's a strong, independent, young woman and I firmly feel this is going to center her. She's still a little scared about her off and on drug use over the past couple of months, but the doctor reassured her that the chances of something being wrong because of that at this point, were very slim. He also will be assisting her with staying clean for the duration of her pregnancy and after.
My bet is that it's going to be a healthy, perfect, baby boy and she already has the name picked out: Dominic Matthew - after our brother.
It's amazing to me how in just a split second... a moment in time... life can flip around and change irrevocably.
Looks like it just happened again.
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5 comments:
Babies are always a blessing. They bring such amazing happiness and incredible wonder to life. I wish your sister a healthy pregnancy and safe delivery.
And I just know you'll make a great aunt! =)
Life is unique in that regard... when we lest expect it, it throws us a curve... or screwball, depending on the count and whether there is a man on third :)
What's up with all these people having babies? Sheesh, can't you women control yourselves?
:D
Best thoughts to your sister, grandparents to be and auntie to be.
I'm so not cut out to be a father. Oh wait, I better slow down a bit. I hope things go well for your sister.
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