A Couple of Theories

We got a new computer program for the hotel and are upgrading from a paper system to an electronic system. Reservations, billing, the whole nine yards. I'll give you three guesses on who got the entire thing dumped into their lap, but you're probably only going to need one. She had bought an entirely different software program a couple months ago and after going through the ordeal of setting that one up for her (the tech guy lives in Germany and the only way I could get assistance was to meet him online via instant messenger), she decides she doesn't like it and buys a new one.

I didn't get a Christmas gift (like the rest of the employees who aren't going on the "ski trip") and I'm most certainly not going on the "ski trip" that she planned. TweakerBoss rented a condo up in the mountains for the weekend and there will be much partying and little skiing. Am I the only one that sees something wrong with our 48 year old boss taking a bunch of underage teenagers into the mountains and having an orgy of alcohol, marijuana, and of course speed - her drug of choice? Yeah, not really my cup of tea.

So all I have to say is that the bonus she promised me for doing this had better be one helluva bonus!!

While at work, when not working on the stupid computer program, I have lots of absolutely nothing to do. The paperwork for the day only takes me about a half hour to complete so I have a lot of down time, interrupted only by the phone ringing. Needless to say, this leaves me with plenty of time to study and to think.

Since my dad finally got my treadmill put together and running, I have been doing a daily workout of 20 minutes "fat burning" (low intensity, longer duration) and 10 minutes of cardio (high intensity, smaller duration). My legs have this burning sensation that won't go away - perhaps since I am new at this, I shouldn't have put it at an incline to start with. In any case, the burning sensation has prompted me to come up with this theory:

Everyone has a degree of guilt in their lives for things they have done, are doing, or know they will do in the future. For myself, this guilt is mostly from the past. I was never really a "wild child" in high school; although my sophomore year I got a little party-hardy and was drinking pretty much every weekend. My biggest "rebellion" was that I started smoking when I was 16 - which was really stupid, but it made me feel like a bit of a bad-ass and earned me a place in a social circle. However, I was mostly a goody-tw0-shoes type. Involved in drama, Secretary of Student Council sophomore year and Vice President my junior and senior years, basketball and volleyball manager (yes manager - you couldn't pay me enough money to wear those ugly, tight, uniforms and sweat in front of real people!), and I did quite a bit of volunteer work. It was about a year after I graduated that I tried pot for the first time, which led me to a "stoner phase." Then I pretty much quit that completely when I moved home after my brother's death. It was starting to become a problem... as in, I'd get home from work while living in GJ, call my parents and tell them I was going to be doing something so they wouldn't call and be able to tell that I was high, i.e. going to the club with friends where there was loud music, then I'd get stoned and stay that way till passing out.

I know, dumb, dumb, dumb.

Then I turned 21 and I was all, "woohoo! I get to go to the bar now! Let's par-tay!" That phase didn't last very long, although I'll still occassionally go out with friends for something to do. But I don't really get drunk anymore because a) hangovers don't do much for me and b) neither does making an ass out of myself.

So then I discovered sex *ahem* with men as opposed to a toy and I had my bit of fun there.

While going through these... stages... for lack of a better word, I did some really, really, really stupid stuff. Hence my regret and guilt.

Now, most people feel the need to punish themselves (whether you realize it or not). You'll either continue with the behaviors that are making you feel guilty in the first place, keep yourself from being truly happy because you don't feel you deserve it, or something.

I have discovered my way to pay penance for all of my sins...

... EXERCISE!

Since I usually swear at least once a day, often get snappy with irritating people, still have pre-marital sex (although not on a regular basis lately, perhaps that explains the snappiness?), occassionally drink, etc. I figure I've got so much penance to pay that I'll be in shape in no time at all! So if you are sweating all that stuff and have picked up some bad habits or whatever to bury the guilt, but are tired of it... this is definitely the option for you.

Hey, it makes sense to me! I haven't felt this "punished" since the last time my daddy took a belt to my ass when I was like 11!

My second theory, one I've had for a while now and still haven't gotten a really good response to is this:

98.9% of the world's population of men LOVE the boobies. For whatever reason, they are fascinated with them and for most guys (not all) the bigger the better, as long as they are natural (this is what I've been told by my guy friends). Even my good friend Shane, who is flaming gay, loves boobs. When I was living in GJ, he would come over and spend the night (I hated living alone - still do) and we would spoon on my bed. He'd cuddle up behind me, then his arms would come around, and he'd cup my boobs. That is how he fell asleep - and after I quit laughing, that's how I'd fall asleep too. And no, he really is gay. I've met several of his boyfriends and he has no bisexual tendencies whatsoever. One of his favorite things to say was/is, "I wouldn't know what to do with a ten pound pussy if it dropped right in front of me!"

Anyway, back to the point at hand.

All boobs are is chub. CHUB guys, boobs are nothing but chub. So if guys love boobs so much, then why don't a bigger percentage of men like fluffy girls? Because really, they're just one big boob - think about it. From my experience, guys have a lot of fun playing with your chest; unless there's an 11 year old virgin little boy reading this, in which case I would feel like a despoiler of innocents, you've probably got images flashing through your head of some of those "fun" things you've done with them. So yeah, don't automatically dismiss the fluffy girls!

And yes, it is 2am, I just finished another lesson (two more to go, baby! *woot*), I put in a long day at work, exercised, then cleaned and organized the entire effin' upstairs - including my room, the hallway, and the bathroom, as my sister is moving home this week. My room alone took an hour; perhaps I shouldn't put cleaning it as the last thing on my "to do" list next time.

The point? My brain is vomiting retarded all over the screen.

I guess that means I ought to go to bed.

By the way, just in case you were curious, Memphis Steve has masochistic tendencies I've decided. The dude RUNS - like seriously. He runs for miles. It boggles my mind. So I've decided he either has masochistic tendencies, he's got a lot of guilt to get rid of, or *shudder* he just likes it...

But I heart him anyway because he makes me laugh on a daily basis. You really all ought to go read him - I promise you won't be disappointed!