Random Babbling #2

I wish New Year's Eve would hurry up and get here so I can start posting the resolutions. Even if 99.9% of people don't keep their New Year's Resolutions, it's still fun to post them and at least pretend you are going to.

I bought a Happy Bunny poster and taped it to my wall. I look at it randomly throughout the day and it makes me laugh every time. I freaking heart Happy Bunny and that's probably rather juvenille, but that's okay. And do you know why? Because I am okay being me! Haha.

My dad needs to find some time to set up my treadmill. Then I can start USING the damn thing and stop feeling like such a lard ass.

Pneumonia really, really, really, really, really sucks. My lungs still ache and my side stomach muscles are so sore from coughing that I want to cry every time I move. Or at least wince, which I do.

My sister is moving back home this week. *Note to self: hide all make-up, shoes, and other items she likes to "borrow" from me, haha. :) I'm so glad she's moving home though and getting the hell out of that environment.

I hung out with Teresa tonight for a few hours. And seen the Ex. I am longing for the time that I can look at him and feeling NOTHING. Just cold indifference. Maybe a little disgust thrown into the mix for falling for someone with that shallow of a spine. I hate those "surges" of past feelings that get thrown in my face every time I see him. It's hard to deal with it on so many different levels that I don't think I could even begin to explore them all. And definitely not in a comfortable manner at all.

He kept staring at my pajama pants - especially where they meet at the tops of my thighs. I caught him staring at my chest and my lips too. Does it make me a bad person that I take satisfaction in the fact that I can still have an effect on him like that. That I can still make him want me, even though he won't ever have me again? I hate the fact that his eyes seemed to burn wherever they landed on me - that he still has an effect on me, obviously.

Damn him, damn him, damn him! And damn me for being so stupid! Especially for falling in love in three months...

Anyway. I have five more lessons to do and then I am done with my Medical Assistant program and I'll have my degree. I am so excited - I can't believe I'm actually doing this!!

Well, that's enough for me. It's 4:30am and I just got home. Typed these last few paragraphs (I had started the entry earlier) and now sleep is calling my name. I'm exhausted.

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and I really wish people would get back from vacations and what not and start updating their journals again!! Haha :).