Just kidding. It's not that bad as long as I don't have work to catch up on and it's the regular, nice, funny, albeit very nosy, guys out there.
Anyway.
I sat out in a big, comfy, chair around the fire and was visiting with this guy named Robert. He's been living at our hotel for about three months now and he knows pretty much everything about everything. Mostly because he makes it his business to know. Normally, I don't get along all that well with these types, but he's pleasant enough and is unobtrusive about his nosiness. Well, Robert proceeds to tell me that this little cutie who is also staying there has been asking about me. Apparently he asked if I was married and Robert said, "no... but you should see her boyfriend; he's a big SOB!" When the guy immediately was all, "oh, okay" and made gestures like he was backing off, Robert started laughing and made it his duty to inform him I'm single.
I told Robert that while A (yes, another freaking "A" - that should be a big, red, flag!!) was a very nice guy, I wasn't looking to get into a relationship and even if I was, I suck at them.
Robert then proceeds to tell me, that while he's not trying to be rude and doesn't want me to be offended, that perhaps the reason I don't have good relationships is because I come off like I'm not afraid of anything, that I'm tough, and that I can handle things by your[my]self.
WHAT THE HELL?!
First of all, I'm not that tough and I handle things myself because my parents raised me to be independent, strong, and to deal with life as it comes up.
Second of all, since when is that a BAD thing!? Really, why would a guy want a girl that is all, "ooh, take care of me please because I can't do a THING for myself. Just don't break a nail while you're rescuing me, okay? *Aheeheehee*"
It's all I can do to keep from rolling my eyes right now.
I really don't know if I should be flattered, insulted, or both. I thought men wanting simpering, young, chits, went out with "bell hoop" gowns. Apparently not, though.
I'm not a bra-burning, arm pit hair growing, testosterone-seeking, extreme feminist.
I believe that we should all have the same rights. I also believe that men and women are equal, just on different levels. One is no better than the other, we're simply different. And I for one, take pride in those differences. I'd be hypocrite if I said that I didn't enjoy taking advantage of those differences at times as well.
For example. I absolutely hate checking the oil in my car and putting more in. I take it to Grease Monkey every 3000 miles for a complete oil change, but if it needs something in between, I pout prettily and ask my dad to do it. It's not that I couldn't do it. It's simply that I HATE doing it. And I dare any woman to say that she's never used the fact that she's a woman to get out of doing something she doesn't want to do or, well, to get out of something period! I can't think of one female that has never tugged on her shirt to expose a little more skin to an officer while pulled over for speeding, or used some mysterious, gynecological, excuse to have a "play day" from work. Never fluttered their eyelashes to get a guy to open a tightly closed jar of pickles so you don't ruin your fresh manicure. I'm just pulling examples out of my hat, but you get the point, right?
There's a difference in not being capable of doing something and just not wanting to do it.
*Note: To any guys that may be reading this thinking about what crap this is, spare me, please. You guys don't EVER have to give birth, you can pee anywhere you want to without problem, you will NEVER have to bleed from your "special place" for seven consecutive days, once a month, for about 40 years (give or take). And by doing these things - we're giving you the perfect opportunity to appear dashing, strong, and gallant. Plus, y'all have gotten to be "first" at pretty much everything. Walking on the moon, being president, voting, the right to own property, and most of the time - getting off during sex. So no whining! (lol)
I guess my question(s) is this: why is it considered to be a strike against you in the eyes of men to be a strong, capable, independent, woman? Why does that automatically make you suck at relationships? And do I really need to play the empty-headed fool that needs protection to attract (and keep!) a man?
If the answer is yes to the last question, then screw it! I'm turning lesbian.
I just don't get it...
*Dedicated to Phil, who loves my diatribes! :)
Boo! I see you! With, my cat-shit colored eyes as Teresa says. Hahaha - my own nerdiness totally amuses me some days...
PS: Shortest. Post. Ever! (that one is for you, Mike, hehe)
8 comments:
ha I was just talking about this with my friend today. She's having renovations done on her house and she was unhappy with something that the trades people had done.
Now she could either have gone the direct and intelligent route (ie: what she is) by organising a meeting with the foreman but she knew that they would end up labeling her as "the bitch" (even though she would have been polite - her husband agreed) - so instead she went the "dumb, blonde, pregnant wife" route (her words) and rang up the foreman all ditzy and acted like she had no idea what was going on and wondering what was going on. The guy was as nice as pie.
Men respond to dumb chicks for some reason - I like to think that the only men who respond to dumb women are dumb men. Buuuuut I don't know...
Thunderous verbal attack post. Yep that's a diatribe.
In answer to you and Mez, it is possible to be smart and dumb concurrently.
It's called horny.
Blogger ate my last sentence!
Where was I? Horny, that's right I was up to horny...
It's called horny.
Perhaps a fashion designer could build a shirt with neurological reading LED lights that flash "Ignore, Horny" whenever we men have an attack of the stupids.
So being capable means it's okay for men to treat us like crap?
Excuse me?
I, personally, won't date a woman who can't do things for herself. However, I also don't want one who refuses to ask for my help on something because I'm a man. There has to be something between "Oh, my lordy, I broke a nail scratching my ass" and "Men are scum and are only useful for their sperm."
As for pain and suffering, yes, you have the pain of childbirth. However, we have the pain of being kicked in the nuts. Our greatest weakness is at the right height for even the shortest to reach, and is completely unprotected. Plus, the pain of such a kick is equal to the pain of childbirth, but instead of having hours to work on defeating the pain, it hits you all at once with no chance to prepare yourself.
So, neener :P
There is actually a pain for guys that is (according to my doctor after my surgery for it) as bad as childbirth... if that is so, please keep childbirth :)
Seriously, I have heard it said you see a lot of intelligent men with 'dumb' women, but few intelligent women with dumb men...
I'm not sure that is meant to be profound for I am sure there are more intelligent women than men out there.
Another problem is that it could be left over genetic and social programming (ie, some competitive gene that is threatened by women). I do know that the worst argument I ever had with a woman (my ex-wife) was over history (something to do with Eleanor of Aquitaine)
Mez: Haha! I'm totally with you on the hoping that only dumb men respond to dumb women. I'm not holding out much hope though - I think Phil hit it square on the head with "horny" being the answer.
By the way, your friend is a genius!
Phil: I think you hit that one square on the head (no pun intended). Too bad they couldn't just invent a pill that prevents diarrhea of the mind. Do you know how much crap would be left undone/unsaid?! (on both gender's part).
Sarah: Now that I caught you on googletalk and you explained, your comment totally makes sense. I was only half-awake this morning when I checked my email and therefore I must plead the fact that my brain was just not functioning yet.
Any man that buys into that bull is set in some kind of 1940's mindset and they should seek psychological treatment for that. STAT!
Mike: Don't get me wrong, I DO believe that there are still good men out in the world. I have to hold onto that belief; it gives me hope for the future of my love life. However, they're a lot harder to find than the dime-a-dozen assholes found in every nook, cranny, and corner of every town, suburb, and city. Which means that we have consistent run ins with jerks like these, hence they get more blog space than the sweet guy that opened the door for you walking into the store, chatted with you in the check-out line, and only let his eyes drop to your chest once before resuming eye contact.
Oh, and the last part of your comment? Spoken like a true man! "Hours to defeat the pain." I don't know what you're talking about. Time does not really defeat the pain - it doesn't go away until you either pop the kid out or let some doctor stick a ten inch needle into your back for an epidural. Count yourself lucky you're a man and you can buy a "cup" for your sac.
Jedimerc: Hello again! By chance was your doctor male? Just kidding. I hope they gave you many, many, happy pills!
Based on the rest of your comment, I can't help but wonder... how is it that you're single? Obviously you've become wise to the ways of women :). Haha. That must have been some serious history if it caused the worst argument ever. Or perhaps your arguments were mild in the first place? Hmmm, and who might Eleanor of Auitaine be? Guess it's time to hit up google :).
The doctors (and they were male, and just as well considering the surgery) did give me more or less the same stuff I am on now (vicodin).
Eleanor of Aquitaine was the mother of Richard I and wife of Henry II of England.(and formerly the wife of Louis VII of France) She was one of the more controversial figures in Medieval History (let's just say she would scandalise the royal family even now :) And our arguments were pretty mild... when she got really, really, polite... that was trouble.
I'm wiser for my experience when it comes to women, but they still perplex me... as it should be I guess :)
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